Gay and lesbian elders have lived long enough to see amazing changes: marriage rights, the rise of AIDS activism, celebrities coming out. But there is something that may drive some of them back into the closet: long-term care.
Afraid of abuse or discrimination, LGBT seniors who are open about their relationships with friends and families may hide that part of their lives if they enter nursing homes or assisted living facilities.
It’s a real concern. “Gen Silent,” a 2011 documentary being screened at three South Florida locations this week, hopes to shed light on the issue. The one-hour film by independent California director Stu Maddux opens the doors of nursing home rooms and private homes, letting LGBT seniors and the people who care for them tell their stories.
“We forget that we have an entire generation of people for whom being out wasn’t even an option,” said Tony Plakas, CEO of Compass Gay & Lesbian Community Center of Lake Worth. “They can’t be guaranteed an environment, as they age, where they will be treated equally.”
One social worker in the film, who coordinates sensitivity training in care facilities, describes watching a nursing aide offer to pray with a frail resident to be forgiven for the sin of being gay.
“I watched this film and got sick,” said Ellen Wedner, chairwoman of the Miami Jewish Film Festival who brought “Gen Silent” to South Florida through her nonprofit, Creative Arts Enterprises, in association with Treece Financial Group Inc. “None of us imagine aging or getting older, so this is serious and thought-provoking.”
No one is sure exactly how many gay and lesbian seniors there are in South Florida, yet alone the numbers in retirement centers. There could be as many as 53,520 LGBT elders in Palm Beach and Broward counties by the common estimate that 10 percent of the overall population is homosexual.
Lawrence Johnson, a 68-year-old retired teacher in Delray Beach, was recruited by Maddux to be in “Gen Silent” shortly after the state of Massachusetts named Johnson as Caregiver of the Year in 2007.
The camera follows him from his former home in suburban Boston into a nearby care facility where his partner of 38 years, Alexandre Rheaume, struggles with conversation during their daily visit.
“I love you,” Rheaume finally murmurs clearly through the dementia that clouds his memory and blurs his speech.
Johnson and Rheaume, who was 22 years Johnson’s senior, had met at Harvard University. They made a home together, supported each other in life’s up and downs. And like many other couples who grow older together, Johnson suddenly found himself a caregiver when Rheaume was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease.
But Johnson suddenly discovered that in other ways they weren’t like other couples. A social worker connected him with a caregiver support group, “but I felt uncomfortable, being the old gay person there. I never felt I could talk about my issues,” he told the Sun Sentinel.
At the first nursing home where Rheaume lived, “they weren’t prepared to deal with us as a couple. You could pick up the vibrations, especially from the aides,” Johnson said.
A second nursing home stay went much better, after Johnson had a frank talk with management in advance. The administrator “made it very clear we were welcome and if I got the feeling we weren’t wanted, I should come to him,” said Johnson, who eventually moved to Delray with his new partner after Rheaume died in 2009. “It starts from the top and filters down.”
A 2010 national survey, done by a coalition of gay and nursing home residents civil groups, polled a mix of 769 gay seniors, family members and care providers. Among them, 43 percent reported 853 cases of mistreatment.
Yet while the debate about Chick-fil-A fast-food restaurants supporting anti-gay causes is making national news, advocates say the public is largely clueless about the extra pressures aging LGBT people face when they can no longer care for themselves. Gays also are more likely than their straight counterparts to face these pressures alone, as their lifestyle denied them life partnerships or estranged them from family.
(more…)

David Neilsen

LODI, CALIFORNIA – An outspoken activist for Lodi’s gay community is in jail on suspicion of molesting a teenage boy.
Authorities arrested 49-year-old David Neilsen on Tuesday evening after a 16-year-old boy accused the chef and community leader of sexual misconduct, said Cpl. Dale Eubanks of the Lodi Police Department. The accusations first surfaced in June, said Eubanks, and the victim alleges the abuse took place from February through May of this year.
Police seized a home computer and Neilsen’s cellphone after arresting him in the 200 block of North Ham Lane, Eubanks said. The devices will be examined for evidence such as emails or text messages, police said.
Neilsen, who was nominated for Citizen of the Year in Lodi in 2006, has been the subject of profile stories in The Record for his work rallying neighbors against Lodi’s gang element and his efforts with the Lodi Rainbow Project, which promotes education and understanding for the city’s lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community.
He is being held in lieu of a $213,000 bond and could face charges of oral copulation and sexual penetration of a minor.
Investigators are searching for other possible victims.
from The Record

Chick-fil-A’s anti-gay marriage stance may have sparked a nationwide controversy, but a hilarious new video suggests one of the chain’s competitors is using the opportunity to win the chicken war.
In a new spoof for FunnyorDie.com, John Goodman is decked out as Kentucky Fried Chicken founder and mascot Colonel Sanders and declares he “loves the gays.”
“It don’t take a bonified Einstein genius to know that I’m an old-fashioned sort,” he bellows from a Southern-styled living room.
“But when it comes to … marriage rights – why I reckon I’m a bit more progressive than my pals down at Chick-fil-A,” he says. “Yep, let it be known that Colonel Sanders loves the gays. Hell, I might even be gay.”
The video then cuts to a man flirtatiously calling out to him, “Hey, Colonel, dinner’s almost ready.”
“See?” Goodman says to the camera mischeviously.
Outfitted in the Colonel’s signature white-suited style, Goodman uses his over-the-top impression to mock Chick-fil-A, which has been under fire since the company’s president said last month they are “guilty as charged” when it comes to supporting the “biblical definition of the family unit.”
The chain donated $4 million in 2009 and 2010 to right-wing groups that oppose the legalization of gay marriage.
By contrast, the Colonel – as played by Goodman – wants to scoop up all the business Chick-fil-A has lost by alienating gay customers, advertising KFC as the place to go “if you want the gayest chicken.”
“I love all gay people always. And, we’re open on Sundays,” he says, taking another swipe at Chick-fil-A which is only open Monday through Saturday for religious reasons.
“The only church the Colonel attends on Sunday is the church of chicken,” Goodman’s Colonel says. “Not to be confused with Church’s Chicken, whom I hear, unlike myself, hate gays.”
The video comes on the heels of Wednesday’s “Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day,” in which supporters of the fast food chain packed its stores across the country in a rally organized by and Fox News host and former GOP candidate Mike Huckabee.
Despite the firestorm over Chick-fil-A’s position, the “Colonel” says he doesn’t actually care about beliefs – it all comes to money.
“I don’t actually give a shit,” Goodman says pointedly. “Gay or not, you’re all just a bunch of big old money mouths walking around talking and eating.”
from The New York Daily News

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